Episode 9

From FantasyFiki
Jump to: navigation, search
Episode 9
Special Guests: None
Writing Prompt: Dragons
Episode Link: Episode 9

This is the ninth episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompt is Dragons. This week, Josh picked up a part-time job as a scarecrow in a lot, in hopes it will one day become a farm. Dom was almost on the TV.

Josh's Story

Title: Dragon Apocalypse!

Most people assumed all dragons were gone in Daranos: that was until, the DRAGON APOCALYPSE!!! When dragons were mentioned in Daranos, there were two dragons that always came up, Axel, the fire dragon and Stacy, the frost dragon. The two dragons were legendary and feared. Axel lived in luxury, living on pile of wealth colected from his abandoned gold mines and abandoned stripper mine. Stacy was encased in stone by a wizard, placed on the highest mountain, to guard a treasured weapon: the Electric Ax of Slaying and Fucking Rocking the Fuck Out. One day, Axel decided to fuck it, somed some dubdub, and left to seek out some the treasure. While flying to the ax, he dragon jizzed upon an unknown location. Upon the mountain which held the ax, a there was city that was described as "Sky-Venice, Italy." The residents of hamlet were terrified of Axel, but some also wanted him in their band. Axel approached the ax, only to awaken Stacy from her slumber. Stacy demanded Axel to step away from the ax; Axel commented on Stacy's six sweet dragon tits. The two began to brawl. The town below was trashed during the fight. A bard sang a metal song to appease the dragons; Axel acknowledged him, threw up the horns, then torched the guy and the guy kept on rippin. The two traded insults with each other, which led to nasty-ass sex all over the town. In Stacy, Axel found a companion. In Axel, Stacy found another person not getting that treasured ax. The Bard played for five days straight while the dragons boned.

Dom's Story

Title: Tomb of Orguin.

One night in badass Orcspire, Lady Sabreblood, the ranger and her companion Muscles Bear were roaming through the night. Lady air guitars with here sword with intent on writing it down only to be interrupted by her mentor, and the once greatest ranger of Orcspire, Jared Acorn's talking ghost skull. The tomb warns Lady about here upcoming trials; stopping the reanimation on the terrible dragon Orguin. While Acorn was talking, Lady did some cool sword tricks; Muscles Bear clapped. Ignoring Acorn some more, she began breakdancing. Acorn finally got her attention be reminding her if something mysterious event in her past where she did wrong. Ignoring part of Acorn's warning, she and Muscles went off into the forest. Acorn is left alone to ponder his existence. The pair approach the tomb. Bear is worried, but Lady calms him and tells him to wait outside. Lady is stealthy infiltrates the tomb where ogre necromancers are trying to reanimate the remains of Orguin. Lady sneakily kills all the ogres. She tries to enter the next room, but she forgets to unlock the door; this trips a trap which causes all the necromancers to comeback to life. Lady tries to slice and dice all the ogres coming back to life only to decide to hide in the darkness. The ogres argue while looking for the wood elf. To make their work easier, the ogres summon a Candle Skeleton; the ogres are exactly this good at necromancy. Lady evaded the skelton's light and continued to assassinate the ogres again. Before she can kill the final ogre, she trips on one ogre's diary. The ogre attacks Lady and is about to turn her into a skeleton assistant, but then Muscles Bear springs from the darkness and rips the ogre down the middle. They enter the dank, dark final room which smelled of death. Lady drinks a special potion which sends her between worlds. Here, she faces the dragon's ghost. No attack seems to work until she remembers, via flashback, that Jared Acorn told her to use the magic javelin. The ghost explodes and she returned to the mortal world. Lady hops onto Bear and they leave the tomb. Meanwhile, Candle Skeleton is still there cursing his existence.

Chamber of Knowledge

Reeses, The Wize and Old Snickerdoodle are 2 wizards that know all things about Daranos and Orcspire.They tell us we should appreciate them because this is a favor to us. Recently, Reeses started reading books; he learned new words, like 'queef.'

Q1:Is there a Dwarven city in Daranos? If yes, is there a female dwarf, light district?

A1: Reeses does not know because he is racist? He wouldn't go down there with Snickerdoodle's dick. Snickerdoodle agrees.

Q2: What is the worst wizard spell you ever cast?

A2: R:Blood diarrhea mixed with being a know-it-all spell. S: Hang nails for a year.

Q3: What schools of magic are there at Wizard Yale?

A3: Arcane, Fire, Celebrity Impressions, Mine, and Clown.

Q4: Are there any hip hop wizards?

A4: There are two: Snoop Doggy Werewolf and MC Spellman. Snickerdoodle bought him and Reeses tickets for a MC Spellman concert.

Q5: What is the best means of travel?

A5: S: Boat.

Q6: Who is the fairest of the land?

A6: R: Snickerdoodle. S: Reeses. The two are shocked at this information, that they both find the other to be beautiful.

Q7: Do you know Flyman?

A7: Everybody knows Flyman; he's funny because he makes everybody elses life seem so much better in comparison.

Q8: What is your dream potion to make, and who would you use it on?

A8: The two both say love potion and say they'd use it on the other person. The two talk to each other lovingly only to curse an oath they took to never love. THE OATH BE DAMNED!!! DAMN YOU OATH!!! WE WANT TO LOVE!!! I NEED TO HAPPINESS!!!

Canon Information

All sandwiches die happy.