Episode 7.5: ContinueCast
|Writing Prompt:||Dark Secret Councils|
|Episode Link:||Episode 7.5: ContinueCast|
This is a special crossover episode of Fantasy Fiction where Dom and Josh join Nick and Paul on the ContinueCast the prompt is dark secret councils. In the first hour of the podcast, the boys talk a lot of hoopla. They talk about Risky Business, Hearthstone, TNG, Chuck Norris, Karate Kid, Robert Rodriguez, The Flyers, LA, GTA V, Bakery Story, Steven King, the spooky Halloween time, Miley Cyrus' sandwich vagina, Daranos love and the cannon.
On this day in Daranos, Schmeal was upset because his mother caught him jerkin the gerkin to telemancer porn. Schmeal lived withhis mom in the shitmonger's district of Daranos City, Daranos. By day, Schmeal was a shitmonger, and by night he was a jizzmonger. His mother is always cleaning schmeal's jizzy clothes. He's a real piece of shit. He was walking alone, lost in his thoughts, when he ran dick first into a gnome of the name of Pipercorns. Schmeal is angry at the gnome; he says he's going to make him buy him some puerno at the Bigfoot Booty Bodega. Instead of porn, Pipercorns offers Schmeal a deal: to help him on a task in exchange for all the poon he's ever need. Schmeal agrees and they transition off to their desired location. In front of the duo was a blanket with three magical items: the Mithril Manfist of Fucking Shit Up, the Rocksteady Helm of Ghetto Blasting, and the Daedric Scepter of Really Awesome Fireworks (that can also burn you, if you weren't careful. Pipercorns was collecting these items for the Dark Disorder of Hot Diggity Dudes. The item he needed Schmeal's help to obtain was the first dildo ever. The dildo belonged to the goblin rapper Just2Nuts. Via wizard foursquare, Schmeal learns Just2Nuts is at Daranos' best Italian restaurant, Bertucci's. the duo ambushed the rapper and his crew were leaving the eatery. The crew was quickly dealt with; Just2Nuts was all who remained. The rapper started attacking them with a gold-plated flail. The Rza was scoring this part of the story. Just2Nuts disarmed his foes, but just as he was about to finish off Schmeal, Pipercorn punched him in the back of the head and his head blew off. Pipercorn looted the corpse of Just2Nuts and found the dildo he was looking for. Schmeal is happy, for now he can hang with Pipercorns and get some trim, but that is not Pipercorn's plan. Pipercorn claims he himself the only hot diggity dude in the vicinity, he sticks the dildo up his butt, then flies on a hoverboard. Schmeal is piss off again. Schmeal never returned home and nobody knows what happened to him, OR DO THEY? This was a cautionary tale.
Title: The Dark Secret Council
We begin with Sauron, of Horth using his Gauntlet of Meeting Efficiency to begin the meeting of his dark secret council. Lunastria, a moon mage, was already bored by Sauron's ramblings; she wished they weren't all meeting in a garage. The baddest bitch of [Boulder Bay]], Sheela, the Gorgon interrupted Sauron from his introductions. Carnik, a cyclops, also wanted things to be moving a bit quicker. Sauron complied and went to role call. They all said their roles on the council. Howard Moneyman was the financial mage of the group. Pulsarion is a golem and the superintendent of fun at Six Flags, Daranos. Lunastrira is only on the council because she killed the previous manager of District 3. After introductions, the group begins to fight about the garage some more. In the midst of the brouhaha, the garage door slowly opened to reveal Sauron's older brother, Chet. Chet was furious and forced the council to vacate the garage. In his way out, Sauron slammed his gauntlet against Chet's Chevelle (whether or not this is a bone vehicle or not, we'll never know). Chet became engulfed in anger flames and chased down his brother. Lunastria knew eventually they would need to get Azera, a priestess from a different district, to heal Sauron, and this would take all day. Lunastria hoped for death.
Dom & Josh's Story
Title: Untitled #1
Zartal, The Dick was on the stage at Dark and Secret Convention 13: Revelations Takedown. Zartal was MCing the most evil in the land contest. He explained that all the wizards were competeing for an evil first place prize, and every other contestant would get a lame shirt. One goblin asked what would happen if you weren't a wizard? "DISQUALIFIED," screamed Zartal as the goblin was struck with lightning. There are no tits at this evil beauty pageant. The first contestant was a cyclops named Gorgoloth. "Oh My Golden Rings!" (This is the first appearance of that phrase.) Gorgoloth had Fu Manchu which he stole off some wizard and a third arm he stole from an orc; last year he burned off his fourth arm. This year, Gorgoloth juggled scimitars; Quad City Djs' C'mon Ride the Train started playing. A demon head with a backwards wizard cap formed between the flurry of the blades and started freestyle dissing all the other contestants. Zoltar was impressed and almost gave him the first prize: purple truck nuts but this was inturrupted by a small black wizard. This wizard, named Jojo, The Occultist, shot 700 spells at Gorgoloth with his petrified snake staff. Seven if the 700 hit Gorgoloth; there were many casualties. The seven spells that hit were acid spell, lightning spell, bad breath curse, hangnails, charliehorse spell, crying jizz curse, and the worst of them all, Buttitis. Gorgoloth's butt rotted off and his was skin burned off by the acid; the other spells were unnecessary. Zartal deems Jojo the winner. All those who died came back as ghost and gave Jojo props, but then they had to go to Ghost Cave, where they'd have to work forever. After 24 hours of applause, Jojo did the worm into space.
A telemancer is mancer of visuals; they're made on scrolls. The capitol city of Daranos is St. Elsewhere. Alliteration rules. They may they know what happened to Schmeal? The guys only compliment one another after they finish reading their stories. Six Flags is in Daranos (it's just 6 flags in the ground).