Episode 7

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Episode 7
Special Guests: None
Writing Prompt: Rogues
Episode Link: Episode 7

This is the seventh episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompt is rogues. Josh loves science fiction. Dom loves Hearthstone.

Josh's Story

Title: Sid, The Troll: Punk-ass Rogue.

The story begins in the terrible city of Grawl. Grawl has a piss smell and is run down. Despite the city being in shamble, there were still heroes to be found in the city: Sid was not one of those heroes. Sid is a troll, freaking darnasian (I straight up don't know what that means). Sid is a badass rogue, assassin, and scrapbooker. He has done many cool things and gave him his cool reputation. He has one lower tooth missing, and on his other tooth he wears a magic ring for sneaking. In the bar where Sid is drinking, a patron of the bar approaches him. This brute throws 2 battle axes at Sid, but he doges and plunges his two daggers, Knarlock: Deathfister of the Seven Kings of Daranos and the Deathvoid, and Lil’ Pointy, in to his skull. He then sends a scrapbook recreating the event and sends it to the brute's widow. A warrior approaches Sid, but instead of looking for a fight, he was looking for help. The warrior is Fred, The Skullpeeler.Fred offers Sid a job; Sid hates jobs. Fred promises riches: Sid agrees to the job. They all meet at The Secret Clubhouse, which was an abandoned building that used to sell magic candles. Inside Sid met Fred and his other two crew members, Ugla and Flyman. Sid forgets why he came. Fred reveals that they are planning the biggest cave heist of all time; they are looking to steal the Killosopher's Stone. Sid kills a fly and Flyman cries for one his little baby. Sid likes Flyman. The group teleports to outside the cave to discuss the plan. Inside the cave was Bog King Darryl, who was having his annual bachelor party. A wench cake is brought out, only to have the group jump out of the cake. Ugla shoots magic missiles, Fred makes a person kabab, and Flyman flies up the ceiling and is useless. Sid murks like everybody and grabs the stone. Darryl escapes on his bog yacht. Fred is angry, because it appeared as if Sid stole the stone for himself, only to have Sid appear and hand the stone over to Fred. Sid moonwalks out of the cave. Ugla wants Sid's hot bod.

Dom's Story

Title: Brizzlebain's Fortune. The Story begins in The Mutilated Warg Tavern, where Girk wiping down the bar. The only other person in the bar is a barbarian doing some heavy drinking celebrating 'Beer's Day.' Some elf then kicks downs the doors open and drinks 2 beers. This elf is Biff Swiftdagger, a famous, super hot rogue with at least 600 charisma. He wears black leather, because it flaunts his hot body. Girk is starstruck of Biff. Biff causes a ruckus. Girk informs Biff of dark wizard named Brizzlebain. Brizlebain is rumored to be super rich and he keeps his treasures in his dungeon. Biff embarks on this quest. Biff summons owls to fly him to the dungeon. Once they arrive, the owls groom Biff. Biff sneaks through the dungeon, but at the same time he makes a large hullabaloo. Biff finds a 2 headed ogre; Biff trips the ogre and tries to get information from the ogres, but he kills them. Another enemy appears, a troll throws an ax at Biff, but he counters and kills the troll. Biff finds a note which reveals the location of the treasure. Biff goes to the appropriate door and finds Brizzlebain, who appears to be in a trance. Out of his Brizzlebain's cauldron rises a gelatinous cube which isn't quite perfect. Biff enters the room and Brizzlebain sicks the cube on to Biff. Biff puts Brizzlebain into a headlock and bullies him into finding out the location of the treasure. Biff then throws Brizzlebain into the cube; this kills him. Biff finds the room of gold and fireworks. Biff summons the owls so they can take the treasure back to his house, while he sleeps.

Chamber of Knowledge

Reeses, The Wize and Old Snickerdoodle are 2 wizards that know all things about Daranos and Orcspire.

Q1: Where do Orcspire and Daranos exist in space and time.

A1: They are bodies of land and they exist on the same world.

Q2: What happened to Superfangs; did he get some mad dragon pussy?

A2: Yes.

Q3: What have Darf and Kevin been up to?

A3: They contined on adventures while also doing very homoerotic things.

Q4: Wizard Weed exists; does Warrior Weed exist?

A4: Warrior Weed exists in Daranos, and it is just beer.

Q5: Is metal the only music that exists in your lands?

A5: No.

Q6: Are there races that are always evil?

A6: Absolutely not.

Q7: Why is Darryl such a piece of shit?

A7: He eats dookie.

Q8: How many hot sluts are there in Daranos?

A8: 2.

Canon Information

Flyman is a horrible transmogrified monster. The Killosopher's Stone is like the Philosopher's Stone, but it makes people dead. Darf and Kevin live in a society kind of like ancient Greece.