Episode 68

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Episode 68
Special Guests: None
Writing Prompt: Blood Magic and Nightmares
Episode Link: [1]

This is the sixty eighth episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompts are blood magic and nightmares. This week, Josh tells a story about bailing his drunk neighbor out with the cops. Dom talks about the continue episode Little Samson and Continuequest.

Josh's Story

Title: Pain Is the New Black

A young human adventure finds himself suddenly in the Pain Mines, having been napping under a batple tree moments before. He expresses his confusion to an orc guard, who starts whipping an old woman, and then frenching her. In between kisses, he tells the adventurer his new name is 821. Pizza is delivered for the slaves, leading one troll slave to panic over having to eat Papa John's again. He rants about the constant diarrhea, and warns that Papa John's is people. 821 takes a slice of people, which starts talking and tells him that "ey, I used to be named Joey! Joey Pizza!" A whistle blows and an orc guard announces that it is time to sleep. Just as 821 is about to go to sleep, four guards arrive and drag him down a hallway, dumping him through a door. A creepy old man, pain warden Menos, reveals himself and announces he is going to harvest 821's pain. Menos elaborates that pain has a variety of uses in Daranos: murder potions, the cloudy liquid in all-see balls, the stuff that makes talking stone runes glow at night, etc. 821 is strapped down and as Menos begins to drain him of his pain, he finds himself being awoken by his mother's voice. He tells her about his nightmare in the pain mines, and she reveals that it was not a dream: 821 and his entire extended family are all trapped in the pain mines.

Dom's Story

Title: Heart of Fear

As the pyromancer's tower burns down behind him, Dale Windbeam runs back to Telandriel with the Topaz of Tupaca. As he runs, the gem tempts Dale to put it in his pee hole. Coming upon the gates, Dale tells the guards that he has to pee real bad, so they open the gates quickly for him. Dale rolls under the gate and switches to a run towards the castle of Sir Encrusted Gemini, hoping to be rid of his ghost as soon as possible. Dale's left arm reaches for the topaz against his will, and slaps back when he tries to stop it. Dale falls backwards on the stairway up to the castle door, breaking the topaz' hold to allow his left arm to reach out and catch the railing. A goblin witch, Mesmereld, greets Dale and lets him into the castle, which has been looted of all it's gold. Mesmereld reveals that Sir Encrusted let her live in his basement after her shack burned down during a wizard duel, showing sympathy only because they were both evil. The gem allows Mesmereld to talk to the spirit world, bringing the ghost of Sir Encrusted before them both. He tells Dale that he will need to do more work for him to be released from his haunting: he must retrieve the twisted claw of a wicked raven, blood of a virgin elk, the wing of a batple, the wing of a regular bat, a fang from any animal, and the dust of a graveyard. Dale attempts to refuse, recognizing this as the dracula recipe, but is again threatened into compliance by Sir Encrusted. The ghost explains that his plan is to become immortal and fuck all the gold. Dale goes to sleep for the night in Mesmereld's guest room (i.e. her closet), and has nightmares throughout the night.