Episode 37

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Episode 37
Special Guests: None
Writing Prompt: Griffins and Fishing
Episode Link: Episode 37

This is the thirty seventh episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompts are Griffins and Fishing. This week Josh went to New York. Dom watched the documentary Beauty is Embarrassing.

Josh's Story

Title: Bass Masturbaters

On a lonely misty lake, Pat Tacklesmith sets up a chair to fish while drinking grog and complaining about his wife. Suddenly, 300 griffins burst onto the scene and start partying. The all griffin band Get Griffed play, and the rap band Griffins With Attitude hot box the audience on another stage. Pat's clothes are blown off the partying, and a griffin with tattoo breath gives him a tramp stamp of a mirkmunk peeing on a ford bonecar logo. The griffins leave and Pat returns to fishing. He reels a fish in, but a griffin flies down and steals it off his line, and slaps Pat's bare ass.

Dom's Story

Title: The Cold King's Court

In the crystal kingdom of the cold giants, several prisoners are on trial before King Kaveltikahn. Hat Skeleton sings a song in his defense for having kissed a porcupine, but the King finds him guilty and the guards beat him up bad. Next, Fishman, King of Badness gets shot out of a cannon to regular Orcspire for doing drugs. Finally, Stinkline is on trial for masturbating in one of the King's abandoned castles. The King peel out on his griffin cycle and does wheelies over the goblin. Stinkline is eventually shot through a window and his stinklines in the sky created the Aurora Borealis. Then the King declares it is time to magic and disappears.

Chamber of Knowledge

This week Snickerdoodle and Reeses reveal they have to answer scrolls or they'll get sued and put back under house arrest.

Q1: What is best in life?

A1: Reeses: Just this, sitting here with my pal Snickerdoodle who just made fun of me. Also my dick is out. Snickerdoodle: Taffy. Any kind. Any flavor. Except for black licorice.

Q2: Are there any wizard rites of passage that every wizard must go through?

A2: Snickerdoodle: in orcspire, after you finish your lessons you must go on a vision quest where you take some drugs and wander into the woods. If you make it back you pass, otherwise you died or were given tree drugs and now you turned into a tree. Whoops! Reeses: every young wizard needs to experience heartache at least once, whether from a conjured succubus breakup or conjured fleshlight breakup.

Q3: What is the most popular dance move in Daranos and Orcspire?

A3: Daranos: The Bartman. Orcspire: Dump-bustin, a.k.a. the booty apocalypse.

Q4: Are there any traditions in regards to proposing to a lady or a man?

A4: Orcspire: you must go to the person's parents and tell them "I love the thing you made so much I wanna look at it every day, but not you guys, I just wanna look at you guys sometimes, but thing you made can really read my mind... My nasty mind. Daranos: As the song goes, when a man loves a woman he proposes with pushups and probably revs his bonecar.

Q5: What would be considered a delicacy in your lands?

A5: Daranos: Jizz covered puzzlepieces with a side of barbed wire. Orcspire: A roasted broholder tentacle served on a south philly cheesesteak.

Canon Information

Doggystyle should actually be called pixie-style, because pixies were around before dogs. Some griffins have tattoo breath.