|Special Guests:||Aubrey Sitterson|
|Writing Prompt:||Witches and Jail Breaks|
|Episode Link:||Episode 32|
This is the thirty second episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompts are Witches and Jail Breaks. This week Josh drank a bunch of hot sauce while watching star trek for syndication station. Aubrey and Dom went to see a PWG wrestling show, where they shared an edible. Dom ended up throwing up, and forcing them to leave early. Aubrey's first graphic novel, "Worth", is also out, and Josh and Dom will be guests on the Straight Shoot episode that comes out the same day this episode was posted.
Title: Foursome Prison Blues
In Daranos there is a castle used as a correctional facility mostly filled with dark, accursed banshee witches. The castle is on an island in an acid lake, and the lake is surrounded by mountains of broken glass. The castle itself is made of the bones of Daranos' most vile criminals. Within the prison two banshees, Helena Satanmeyer and Katrina Broomrider, are planning a breakout. During the prisoner's daily tasks the next day, Warden Orcstrong walks through inspecting the prisoners on his way to his office. Helena follows the warden, taking two guards out on the way by flashing them, and then enters the warden's office. She strips for the warden, who becomes paralyzed, and the other prisoners follow suit and begin sex-murdering the orc guards. Helena sex-murders the the warden, and the banshees claim the castle for themselves.
Title: The Fall of Megathuul
Hundreds of years ago, there was a utopian island paradise of Megathuul with a capitol city of Poundtown. Megathuul is full of cool dudes with lose moods and bodacious broads, but the Megathuulian reeducation center exists to rehabilitate those who run afoul of Megathuul's law against failure to party hardy. In the jail is a bard named Daryl who refuses to smoke wizard weed and writes lame, political songs. Suddenly, Daryl's cell fills with smoke and a megathuulian witch named Hagetha appears to help make Daryl bodacious. She flashes the bars of his cell and they spread open for the two to escape, and she leads Daryl into the guard's bathroom. The floor looks like it is covered in some bullshit modern art, but when Hagetha tells Daryl to look through the floor, he realizes it is a magic eye drawing and he sees a pentagram rise up from the floor. Hagetha then gives Daryl a swirly, but the toilet water was laced with wizard weed. Daryl is tripping, and suddenly the two are transported to the rim of the ancient volcano Steve, subject of the now extinct Stevian volcano worship. Daryl declares himself to be the prophet Broseph, the party hardy bardy and the volcano Steve responds. An electric guitar rises from the magma and Broseph plays a song, and the dank smoke rising from the volcano reveals that Steve is actually a colossal lava bong. Broseph breathes deep of the smoke but then coughs his brains out, which turns to hacking, which turns to ralphing. Steve erupts in fury at his prophet's inability to handle his shit. Megathuul is burned to cinders and the ruins sink beneath the waves, ensuring the great civilization would never return.
Title: Fulderdoom Keep
Fulderdoom Keep is the most badass wizard prison in all of Orcspire, where prisoners are bound by anti-magic shackles. In the weight room, Tony Toocut is working out with several other buff wizards and warlocks. Tony looks out the window and in the distance he sees a witch performing a ritual. Tony's eyes start to glow and he levitates, the then begins benching the wall of the weight room, which causes the walls of the prison to start to break apart. The guards try to rush into the weight room to stop Tony, but the other buff wizards fend them off, giving Tony enough time to finally break the walls. The surviving wizards escape and run for Daranos, but Tony runs to the witch he saw through the window and the two bone.
The 'doo-dah' in: "diggity dankidon diddly dizzy durk dank diggity doo-dah dank dank dizankster wizard weed".
The minotaurs were just as bad to the centaurs when they ran Eastern Harklox