Episode 21

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Episode 21
Special Guests: None
Writing Prompt: Archers and Clerics
Episode Link: Episode 21

This is the twenty first episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompts are archers and clerics. This week, Josh got Strep Throat and watched all the Lord of the Rings movies. Dom watched Conan. Also, Bonesword sent in a song based on Dom's last story. Both stories this week are continuations of stories from Episode 20.

Josh's Story

Title: C-Walkin' 2

We begin in the lair of Dr. Bonesplitter M.D. where [Buffcat]] is captured. Buffcat was very worried, for he already used up his previous 69 lives. Bonesplitter begins to torture the kitty. Bonesplitter vows to rid Daranos of adventurers. Using a Death metal blade, Bonesplitter cuts off Buffcat's right set of whiskers and his cutie tail. Before any more torment could fall upon BC, a flurry of arrows and lock picking arrows flew down and freed Buffcat from his chains. Buffcat jumped up from the table, but was off balanced and fell paw-first into a vat of Death Metal. The archer is revealed to be Sid. Sid wanted to beat up Bonesplitter hardcore, but he decided he needed to find a way to heal his friend, so he pantsed Boneslpitter twice and fled with his friend. Outside, Sid tried calling Ugla on his Talking Stone,but she didn't answer. Sid dragged Buffcat to a hut in the woods. They enter the hut to find a cleric (later revealed to be Argos Yelasawitz M.D.). The cleric is revealed to be the brother to Bonesplitter. Sid yells at the cleric, threatens the cleric, pantses him, and the cleric agrees to help the kitty as much as he can. Sid tries to console the cat and states their revenge on Bonesplitter. To be continued in Episode 22.

Dom's Story

Throm was continuing on his journey to find the ore to make Oforrokth, The Skull Harvester. The strong, cool barbarian is trudging through the cursed forest of Hatenule. On his way out, an evil tree yelled at him; Throm knocked over the tree. Throm entered the ghostly swamps of Angulin. He is greeted a goblin bard who sings a sad song about kissing a sexy fish. He also warns the barbarian not to enter the forest. Throm chewed on the goblin's head and headed into the forest. The pitch black forest kinda creeped out Throm, but he continued. Somewhere in the swamp, a yo-ghost-momma rap battle was happening. Throm heard a chorus of voices; they were coming from a group of rogues of all races. The bandits were looking at their found treasures. One sad rogue was bragging about his piss-soaked hat he found in the Pissing Pony. After much celebrating their magic rings, Throm attacked the troupe. During the battle, Balnikar, The Severed watched on his All-See Ball; he was looking for a way to get back at the barbarian for beheading him. He killed until only two rogues were left hiding. The two rogues were Fuarn and Zalcon, a cleric and archer respectively. Throm was about to kill them when they bargained for their lives; the rogues said they would heal the barbarian and accompany him on his journey. Throm agreed, but specified NO PAY. A large six-armed, bipedal crocodile attacked, but was easily super-slapped by Throm. They newly-formed trio headed to the crypts of Faldune. Meanwhile, Balnikar laughed to himself and called the crypt to warn the watchers of the incoming adventurers. In the crypt the bodies of the watchers were asleep, and right before we went to credits, their eyes opened. To be continued.

Chamber of Knowledge

This week, Reeses, The Wize and Old Snickerdoodle are here. They have valuable time.

Q1: Have you two ever fallen in love?

A1: Reeses: Does your momma count? Snickerdoodle: I was in love once with a slice of Goblin Cheesecake. He says he did not bed the cake, but the jury's out.

Q2: At what age did you lose your wizard v-card?

A2: Please make your questions about our realm. S: 26.

Q3: What are the lame jobs that teenagers have to work in D&O?

A3: Daranos: slave at the Pain Mines Orcspire: a job at the ole Handjob Mill.

Q4: Any dark secrets you don't know about one another?

A4: They can't answer that. S: I can't dance. It is revealed that Reeses has been using Snickerdoodle's pipe to clean out his ears, while snickerdoodle ate Reeses' sub. The two are about to burst with wizard-rage.

Q5: Where is the Chamber of Knowledge located?

A5: They are not stupid enough to reveal the location. They get paid for doing this. Snickerdoodle got a check for seven Wizard Tokens, but that may be unrelated.

Q6: What are the best pick-up lines used in D&O?

A6: S: I make my eyebrows look good and say, "Come with me, I'm hot!" This has a .05% success rate. Snickerdoodle masturbates loud. R: "Do you have a little beard in you? Would you want some?" This has never worker. When it does, he'll write into Orc Playboy.

For some reason they cannot turn off the all-see ball. Also, Reeses doesn't know what mustard is, so, there's that.

Canon Information

Sid is always pantsing fools. Two rogues' bodies exploded when Throm threw them into one another.