Episode 20

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Episode 20
Reinforcements!
Special Guests: None
Writing Prompt: Blacksmiths and Crypts
Episode Link: Episode 20

This is the twentieth episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompts are blacksmiths and crypts. This week, Josh went to MAGFEST. Dom listened to the Conan soundtrack and watched Conan The Destroyer. Lil Deuce Deuce found a Mudbark song.

Josh's Story

Title: C-Walkin'

Daranos is shrouded in jizzy mystery, just waiting to be fingerbanged. There are many great warriors in Daranos, but there is nobody that is the equal to Buffcat. Buffcat's muscles were as strong as his face was cutie and kissable. Buffcat was on a journey to explore the crypts of Dr. Bonesplitter M.D. Buffcat arrived at the crypt entrance, went down the stairs and fought some scary, ugly witches of Witchmar. He quickly disposed of the witches, then played with some string for several hours. He went further into the crypts and found the laboratory of Bonesplitter. After some minor chitchat, Bonesplitter captured Buffcat and showed off his new metal, death metal. Fantasy Fiction is filmed in front of a live studio audience. How will Buffcat escape? Tune into Episode 21 to find out!

Dom's Story

Title: Oforrokth, The Skull Harvester

In the cruel world of Orcspire, only Throm can stand tall. Throm's tale begins by heading to Duldan to look for a weapon mighty enough to replace The Ax-Staff. Passing by the sickly poor, Throm first came across a sad carpet salesmen. As to be expected, Throm uberkilled the salesmen and pissed on the carpets. Throm then met Guilden, The Blade Juggler, a cocky human rogue who was trying to seduce some ladies. After mad dogging the rogue, he ripped of his ear and gave the man a new name: Buttlick, The Insufferable, Half-deaf Piss Maiden. Unfuckwitable means I fucking rip ears off. The third encounter Throm had was with a sorceror by the name of Balnikar. Balnikar and his posse got all up in Throm's face, which lead Throm killing him twice and impaling his head on his own staff. The sorcerer would forever be known as Balnikar, The Severed. Balnikar was resurrected twice and left to plan his revenge on the barbarian. Throm finally reached a blacksmith shop and met with its owner, Danith Forgeron. Throm went a bit wild, tearing apart the shoppe, looking for a suitable weapon. To soothe his rage, Danith told him about the legendary weapon Oforrokth, and how to forge it. He would need to travel through the cursed forest of Hatenule and go beyond the ghostly swamps of Angulin to reach the crypt of Faldune. Throm took two bastard swords and headed east to receive the ore, then correctly headed west towards Faldune. Tune into Episode 21 to see where Throm ends up next.

Chamber of Knowledge

This week, Reeses, The Wize and Old Snickerdoodle are here.

Q1: What sort of magical artifacts do you own and which are your favorites?

A1: Reeses: All-see crystal orc skull. Snickerdoodle: I own an ogrelord's toenail.

Q2: How was your home life?

A2: S: Wizardly! R: My father was strict.

Q3: What are the least practical items/weapons in your realm?

A3: Daranos: the Wet Noodle Mace. Orcspire: the Light Sword.

Q4: What are you new year resolutions?

A4: S: to stop getting high on Wizard Weed and eating Reese's salads. R: reconcile with my father.

Q5: What spell do wizards cast most often?

A5: D: the wipe your own butt spell. O: magic kissile spell.

Q6: What superlatives did you receive from your schools??

A6: S: Most likely to be in the year book. R: Most likely to be knee-deep in stanky puss.

Q7: Someone told me this past year was the year of the orc taint. What will this upcoming year be?

A7: S: It's always the year of the dragon. This year it's cloud/clown dragon.

Get ready to take a quiz about the questions you heard on this session of Chamber of Knowledge.

Canon Information

You can take the blacksmith out of the forge, but you can't forge a new blacksmith out of the old one's body. Blacksmithing doesn't work like that.