Episode 19

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Episode 19
Special Guests: None
Writing Prompt: Paladins and Giants
Episode Link: Episode 19

This is the ninteenth episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompts are paladins and giants. Josh had a power line fall on his car as a result of a tree falling on a friend's house. Dom saw "The Hobbit, Desolation of Smaug".

Josh's Story

Title: PODs

There are many crimes in Daranos, and the ones who handle the yuckiness and chaos are the Paladins of Daranos. The PODs of this story is the experienced Bradford Hammerford and his rookie partner, Glen 'Skippy' Lighthammer. The paladin's weapons were from Hammerforge, a paladin training ground. The two paladin head out for the day to handle some disputes in their area. Their first stop was to settle a domestic dispute between two frost giants; the angry Sheila was angry at her husband, Grog, and the neighbors called the PODs. During the heated argument, Grog killed Skippy, then reconciled with his wife. It turns out Grog was spending his nights saving money to buy a n anniversary gift for Sheila. Bradford used a resurrection spell to bring Skippy back to life and they went on their way, even though Skippy saw there was nothing after you die. The PODs then came across Darryl. They made sure he was riding dirty; making sure he had plenty of Wizard Weed to share]]. He had plenty of that WW, so he was free to go. The duo then went to the cursed land of Zartal, The Dick. They were both scared, but before they knew it, a hoard of zombies attacked them. They used their protective bubbles, and attempted to use their Mantle Stones to escape. Bradford teleported back to Hammerforge, while Skippy was unable to flee. The zombies ate him up and some used his body for biting practice.

Dom's Story

Title: To Glory Keep

As the sun set on Stormscale, Thaddeus Thunderbeard arrives at Glory Keep, the home of his brother Glorious Thunderbeard. The two were reuniting because Glorious summoned his brother. Glorious is ecstatic to see his brother. The two roam the halls, examining the many wonders of the keep. There was grand mural of Glorious' accomplishments, like the one time he beat Pie Guy in a moonberry pie eating competition. Thad goes on to meet Glorious' family. They first met was one of Glorious' son Bjiern. Bjiern is a skilled blacksmith and fucking loves his dad. Bjiern was listening to Broadsword and the hammers he made were pristine. They then met Daledwin, a skilled, buff paladin-in-training. He too really loves his dad. HOLY SONS!!! The final family member was Glorious' sexy wife, Megan. Her big booty made all the guards dizzy. Thad and his brother went to the main dining hall/dance hall to discuss life further, when a giant of the Black Order broke into the keep. The giant was a friend to Pie Guy. Glorious and all of his sons tried, but failed, to take down the giant. Thad used a hodgepodge of treasure (and the magic of [[Battle Keg) to take down the giant. The entire family danced in the dance hall and everybody got buck. Feeling better about his life choices, Thad left to continue his own life, which he loved.

Chamber of Knowledge

This week, Reeses, The Wize and Old Snickerdoodle are here and they seem to be in a hurry.

Q1: What is you favorite elemental attribute on weapons?

A1: Reeses: cut grass smell. Snickerdoodle: glowstick raven chat(?).

Q2: Do you have any embarrassing wizard tattoos?

A2: S: I love being 128 and it's on my buns. R: a tattoo of Snickerdoodle (wearing a sombrero) pissing on the Daranos Cowboys logo, and it is on my buns too.

Q3: What are popular forms of entertainment in your realms? Orcspire: playing with Synthor's demon eyeball that gets you high.

Q4: What were your first jobs?

A4: S: working at Dogco Dome. R: professional candy stealer.

Q5: Do you have Karaoke?

A5: They have Karate Karaoke in Daranos and regular karaoke in Orcspire. (They then sing some sweet jams.) Snickerdoodle had a mindgraine.

Q6: Where does one get Wizard Weed?

A6: Nice try officer.

Q7: How do you two, and regular people, celebrate the new year?

A7: R: I don't celebrate anything not divisible by 69. The regular people play with the meatball and kill for fun. S: I stay inside to be safe.

Canon Information

Nothing Reported.