Episode 16

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Episode 16
Special Guests: None
Writing Prompt: Fairies
Episode Link: Episode 16

This is the sixteenth episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompt is Fairies. Josh got sick and watched some disney movies. Dom went to Medieval Times and got hit by a rib.

Josh's Story

Title: A Very Happy Engagement

The story begins with a saddened Princess Axwound in her chamber. Axwound is sad that she is being forced to marry. She is telling her woes to her handmaiden until a fireball flew into the room, killing the handmaiden. The ball transformed into Ugla. Ugla said she was here aid Axwound. She wants the princess to become a stronger lady and not become someone's wife-meat. A makeover is in order summons a fairy assistant named Titseleaf. Ugla leaves with Sid and Titseleaf stays to help Axwound. MAKEOVER!!! The two travel to a small lake and the fairy explains some important gear dwells within the water. The duo dives into the water and below lies a broadsword stuck in an anvil. As Axwound tried to remove the blade, demon mermaids attack. Axwound chops some of the mermaids in half and kills the rest by summoning a lightning bolt using the magic sword. MAKEOVER!!!Titseleaf and Axwound return to the Palace's meadhall. She is surrounded by over 200 suitors trying to win her hand. First is Pervy Jerry, a creep who fucked old, hollowed-out candlesticks. Another bachelor was Prince Hammerfist, heir to the Orc Fortunes of Daranos, and has, like, eight dicks. The last suitor was Captain Ironmast, a boot with a moustache tapped onto it. Done with the fuckery, Axwound used the sword to kill all the people in the hall and turn them into rage demons. She declares herself Queen Axwound. Ugla and Titseleaf watched the whole thing and became worried.

Dom's Story

Title: The Trial of John

Within the dark forest of Ogrifin, past the Haunted Mine and the Tainted Lake, passing Twigtown, and some other stuff, was the small town of Treeville. Fairies of Orcspire are humanlike and very lame. The are dumb, and have terrible powers; fairies sucks dicks. The story revolves around John. John was the smelliest, most brave; he was the questman of his village. The mayor of Treeville, Manius Fogelton summoned the town to his home. Days later, they all gathered at the hollowed log. He wants fairies to get more respect from other races, and to do this, he wanted to retrieve the Magical Glass of All-seeing from The Beast. John is chosen to go on the quest. Later, John finds his way to the monster's cave. The Beast greets him and turns out to be a pretty chill dude. The Beast played a cool solo on his guitar and chatted with the fairy. To persuade John that he was a good guy, the monster played aka of Hall and Orcs greatest hits. After talking for some time, The Beast decides not to give john the Magical Glass of All-seeing, aka the Budonkulars, but he does give him a towel, helping complete Towel Quest 3. John returns to his home a hero (???). Weeks later, all the fairies would die of boredom.

Chamber of Knowledge

This week, Reeses, The Wize and Old Snickerdoodle are here. Snickerdoodle sometimes says his name incorrectly.

Q1: Do you two have tattoos? If yes, are they magic?

A1: Reeses has a magical unicorn tattoo with the spirit of the last unicorn in it. He got it at Wizstock. Snickerdoodle has tattoo of Reese on his ballsack.

Q2: What is the best holiday (vacation) spot in D&O?

A2: Orcspire has Wacky Slide Mountain. Daranos has Caligula Falls.

Q3: What are the tourism taglines for D&O?

A3: Daranos: Buy something, or get the hell out. Orcspire: It isn't raining, that's blood.

Q4: Are there any fun wizard-games you have?

A4: You cannot comprehend the awesome wizard games.

Q5: Ideal first date for an orc chick?

A5: Darnos: find something to fill the other seven holes. Snickerdoodle is the self proclaimed 'date king.' It is revealed he has never been on a date.

They leave the All-See Ball on, like a bunch of ding dongs.

Canon Information

The Beast rules.