Episode 15

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Episode 15
Special Guests: None
Writing Prompt: Rock Men
Episode Link: Episode 15

This is the fifteenth episode of Fantasy Fiction and the prompt is Rock Men. Josh and Dom celebrated thanksgiving this week. The Everything is Terrible Christmas Special if uncomfortable.

Josh's Story

Title: Trouble on Rock Mountain

Our story begins with the two very lost gnomes Tweezers and Lambchop McGinty, who are looking for the path to their home, Gnomedetroit. The two were looking for Metal Acorns, which are the cure to Constant Weiner-Jizz Spell and the dangerous Bonerfarts. The duo were traveling though the Ghost Veil Mountains, a mountain range which divide Daranos between the east and west. After becoming more lost, and after much arguing, the two came across a city of rock elementals. The rock men begin to sing. The rock men capture the gnomes and ask them to help one of their own , Racksdor, retrieve his baby. In exchange for the help, the rock men would give the gnomes a cart full of Metal Acorns. The two help the rock men rescue Rackosdor's baby girl. The rock people were so happy they threw a dance party which led to the deaths of thousands.

Dom's Story

Title: The Road

The story begins as a small group of four make their way through the Forest of Elderbeards. Yeah, it's fuckin' cool. The group reach the River of Rip-Roarin' Rad Rapids, a dangerous river full of evil fishes. Each member of the group use special powers to make a bridge, cross the river, and burn the bridge. The group is revealed to be Battle Keg. The members of the band are Danaroth, Grum, Zolrip, and Phineas Brewbringer. They would later make a song called Fuck Bridges. Zolrip then peed into an evil fishes' mouth, killing it and many other fish. This would inspire another song: Peener of Death (Drink my Acid-piss). They continued into the forest traveling to the city of Orcspire to end their tour. But suddenly, the lamest thing in Orcspire, gnoll, ambush the band. The leader of the gnolls address Battle Keg. The gnoll is names Doglips and he is the leader of the "best" all-gnoll band in the forest: Mudbark. They want to open for Battle Keg, but the band refuses. Mudbark plays them one of their songs; it's terrible. A tree committed suicide. The whole forest started to stink. Battle Keg gets their weapons back and start to fight. A battle then broke out which culminated with the death off all the gnolls.In the midst of the battle, the Dinner Warrior was on high alert, for he could feel the beat down of the gnolls from this far away. The finishing move was the summoning of tsunami's worth of ale, which Battle Keg used to surf their way to their show. The whole crowd got wasted. Doglips was killed by Phineas Brewbringer.

Chamber of Knowledge (knots)

This week, Reeses, The Wize and Old Snickerdoodle are here. Snickerdoodle needs to poop.

Q1: Was Buffcat once human?

A1: He was always a buffcat, like his parents and grandparents.

Q2: Do you two have birthday? How were you spawned?

A2: S: I don't know. I was born in a dragon roost. I was raised by the dragon, then worgs, then wolves, then gelatinous cubes. The cubes became my parents; I love you Morg and Lorg. D: I'm a pisces.

Q3: Can you cast a spell of no-more-pain on my shoulder?

A3: Reeses often messes up pain spell with penis, so he casts nothing.

Q4: What is your perfect sunday?

A4: S: I like to hit that WW and watch an exiled orc be sad on my All-See Ball. R: Here, it's called Soonsday. The best way to have a good time is to quit school.

Q5: How does one escape the Pain Mines?

A5: Death.

Q6: How do guys in Orcspire have such buff muscles? Do there something in the water?

A6: The water is full of hard work. *Snickerdoodle flexes out of his cloak.*

Canon Information

69 out of every 1 person who gets Bonerfarts dies. If you go south long enough, it becomes north. There is a full race of buffcats.