Episode 14.5: Feast of Ages

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Episode 14.5: Feast of Ages
Special Guests: Reeses and Snickerdoodle
Writing Prompt: Feast of Ages
Episode Link: Episode 14.5: Feast of Ages

This is the special Thanksgiving episode of Fantasy Fiction also know as, the Feast of Ages. Reeses, The Wize and Old Snickerdoodle are here to tell the history of their respective lands. Orcspire celebrates Danksgiving and Daranos celebrates Shanksgiving. A small, but vocal minority in Orcspire also celebrate Shanksgiving. Both Daranos and Orcspire area lands that exist on the one world Jjuushdum Mostly, only the old gods call the world Jjuushdum.

Lore of Daranos

Disclaimer: this was written on some toilet paper

Daranos is full of adventurers, maidens, titty maidens, booty bitches, and dank-ass wizardz. There is no one ruler of the jizzy melting pot which is Daranos. Elves are prominent, but they are not the majority. Wizard Yale Rules!!!! There are some notable kings that hold dominion over some important realms; there's Jeremy, The Wretched of the Salty Isles, Hambone, The Terrible of the Noxious Waste Plains, and Crazy Joey Romano of the Stub-your-toe Forest. There was once a prophecy of a young king, destined to unite all of Daranos, but he got super cocky and a lightning wizard used kung-fu on him and murdered him. There is no bourgeoisie or upper class ruling over the proletariat.

Lore of Orcspire

Disclaimer: this was found in the library

Orcspire is the native home of orcs, goblins, trolls, ogres, and hobgoblin. The following items were birthed in Orcspire: Battle Keg, Wizard Sunglasses, and Cinnamon That Tastes So Good Pie, aka Slap ya Momma Pie. Civilization can be traced back to orc-made cave homes, sometimes called sleep sex holes. In the northeast, there is a large mountain spire known as The Orcspire, which the continent is named after. Don't confuse any of these Orcspires with Orcspire O. Orcspire, a resident of Daranos. Wood Elves, humans and dwarves would later come to Orcspire, being drawn to the promise of riches via the ore in the mountains. Elvdandalien is a wood elven city that lies in the southeast. The dwarven city of Stormscale lies in a hallowed mountain in the northwest. The human city of Mountain Lake is located to the west. Order of Badass Wizards of all races created The Order of Righteous Wizards with Badass Spells and Wizards in Support for the Legalization of Wizard Weed; these two groups formed Wizard Temple University, which lies high on the Wizard Mountain mountain range in the north. Most of Orcspire is at peace...for now.

Chamber of Knowledge

Twitter is a weird realm.

Q1: Are there any sweet strip clubs in D&O?

A1: Orcspire has The Underworld's Nipple; they serve appletini. Daranos has The Pain Mines' strip club, where there is a poor drawing promising naked ladies. Snickerdoodle lost three years of his life looking for that booty.

Q2: Have either of you cast a spell you wish you hadn't.

A2: Reeses cast an ex-lax spell on himself once. He also cast infinite kittens spell. The current status of the ecological disaster that is the conjuring if infinite kittens is currently unknown. Snickerdoodle cast spells other people didn't like. He cast loud singing spell. Reeses likes Snickerdoodle's singing voice.

Q3: Are there any famous celebrities in D&O?

A3: Orcspire has Biff Swiftdagger and Billy Crystalman. Daranos has hundreds of Gary Colemans (infinite Gary Coleman Spell), and Reese and Snickerdoodle.

Q4: Do you have any family?

A4: Reeses' only family is Snickerdoodle. Snickerdoodle has a magical pet toad that can turn into an owl (or an owl that turns unto a toad) and his name is Jared.

Q5: What's the best R&B group in your world and their best song?

A5: S: Orcs II Adult Orcs and their best is 'Don't Forget to Leave the Candles on Baby, Cause I Want to See Dat Booty Bounce.' R: Soul Stone is the best group with their song, 'Baby, Send me a Parchment of that Booty.

Q6: Is there crazy weather you have that we don't get; does it rain dragon-dong juice, hail crystal goblin nipples?

A6: Yes to both of those things.

Q7: What is the dirty word ever said in your worlds?

A7: S: Dirt-ass-shit-ass-butt-ass-dick-ass-fart-butt-nipple-tit-dick-taint-hang glider, and it was said by Reeses while on vacation in Orcspire. R:The worst word here is a disease called Oily Queef Farts. The cure is also the cause.

Q8: What are the most common names in D&O?

A8: In Daranos, it's Thunderhips for a girl and Joey Pizza for a boy. Is Orcspire, it's Terrance for all genders.

Happy Thanksgriving/Granksbiging everyone! Don't eat too much owlbird, or you'll get Wizarditis. Also, Snickerdoodle's nose has warts on it.

Canon Information

Nothing reported.